For the most part, I stay away from these types of conversations.  Not because I have an unpopular opinion or because I worry how everyone will react to my point of view.  But because I don’t want nor need the controversy and don’t want the super sensitive citizens of the world assuming their own meanings to my words, instead of listening to what my words were intended to mean.  Now…with THAT being said, I am going to touch on it…just a little bit.

Just to give you a little bit of a back story…from the age of 6 up until I was 12, I lived in a predominantly black neighborhood and was one of maybe ten white children that went to our elementary school.  Before and after those ages, I lived in NE Mississippi and went to, maybe, a 60% white school.  I knew that my skin color was different.  I knew, in my younger years, that there were some kids in my class that hated my skin color.  However, never…not ONCE, do I remember putting any significant thought at all into the fact that my skin color was different.  I did not pick my friends based upon that…I did not look at anyone any different than anyone else based upon their skin tone….I just never did.  My mother raised me to know that skin color gave no indication of anything other than the fact that our ancestors maybe came from different countries.  I don’t know how mom did it…with as much hatred in this world….but she did!  And I am forever grateful to her for that!  I’ve been surrounded by racists of many different ethnic backgrounds at various points in my life.  I’ve heard them blurt out their ignorance.  I shake my head and walk away. I won’t entertain that or give them the pleasure of making them think they had an impact on my day or my thoughts!

Fast forward to today…..My mindset hasn’t changed as far as who I come into contact with and what my thoughts are about them.  I am not blind when it comes to skin color but it means nothing to me as far as snap judgments or unnecessary hate.  I pick my close circle very wisely.  I do not surround myself with ignorant racists.  I keep the like minded close and the close minded far!

What about the kids?  This has crept up in my thoughts since the day I became pregnant with my first.  I don’t want to teach the wrong thing…I don’t want to avoid the questions but part of me doesn’t want to wait until they ask the questions to talk about it.  Am I going to make it too big of a deal to them that they are paranoid about it? What exactly do I say?  Maybe I should ask my mom….(in case you can’t tell, I am still learning this “mom” thing).

The other day, my youngest, 5, taught me what I needed to do!  The girls have been learning a lot at school.  I can always tell when they are learning about something new and interesting because they can’t stop talking about it!  Somehow the topic of the Indians came up…for the life of me, I cannot remember how…. I explained about how we have Indian in our family and where it came from.  My oldest, 9, was confused at first and then started to make jokes.  She said, “I’m half Asian!”  To which my husband and I quickly corrected her!  My 5 year old asked, after I explained the Indian part, “what am I?”  I said, “white…not sure what all else.” I really wasn’t sure so I just tried to give a quick answer.  She said, “I’m not white…my eyes are and my teeth kind of…but I’m not white.”  I said, “okay then, what are you?”  She replied, “….a GIRL!”  She was as serious as could be and had no clue why I would ever say she was white!!

So, at first, I almost felt like a failure.  Not because I hadn’t explained the difference and similarities in skin color but, because, she truly had no idea that she was white or that white wasn’t a gender…!  Then, though, I was proud!  My baby doesn’t see color!  Praise the Lord!  That’s the goal!  My next thought was that I really wasn’t doing my kids any service by making them ignorant to this big topic, being that the world will educate them not too long from now and…don’t I want to be the one to explain it?  Shouldn’t I wrap my arms around this before some random influence gets a hold of them?  Do I want to send them out, ignorant, so that an even more ignorant person can poison their mind?!  It was like a huge light bulb came on in my head!  I knew what I needed to do!

First, I had to stop thinking so much!  Because everyone is offended by EVERYTHING lately, I find myself questioning my own questions!  Second, I had to write everything down!  Write my STORY!  I struggled with what I would say, how I would say it, and when we would have the conversation.  However, I am confident that I will KNOW when God opens that opportunity and I will embrace it!  Third, I needed to ensure that I had the right mindset.  I am not oblivious to the fact that not everyone thinks the way that I do, not every region is as peaceful as mine is, and that there is truly a lot of hate and heat on this subject.  I do get that.  Sometimes it is hard for me because I don’t have to witness or deal with a lot of what people in other parts of the country and of the world are faced with. So, keeping in mind that even my kids may be in harsher storms in the fight against racism than I was….I am going to educate them.  It will come from me first and my kids will know that they can come to me and talk about it at ANY time and I will be honest with them.  It’s not brainwashing, it’s not forcing my beliefs on them and it’s not naive for me to have confidence that this is the right plan.  I honestly feel that it’s God giving me a peace about what I have really struggled with as a mother for the past 10 years!  I’ll explain the differences and ensure they know that God made us ALL special and unique.  We are all children of God and he loves us all the same!  We should do the same!!!  

Now…I suggest and encourage you all to do something similar with your children.  They look to you, whether they tell you or not!  So grease those wheels before some idiot gets a hold of them!  We only have one shot at this life…let’s make sure we are doing the best job we possibly can!  Especially when it comes to the future generations!

Bye for now,

RR