“Mommy, I want to be what YOU are when I grow up!”

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Remind me to blog later about disappearing blogs!  Because I totally did this one earlier and it’s gone!

Anyways!

I have two, rather amazing daughters.  They are so smart and so kind!  They truly have the potential to be whatever they want to be in this world!  As most mothers do, I ask them from time to time, what it is they want to be when they “grow up”.  My youngest wants to be Rapunzel.  Then, after that, she wants to be a nurse.  Last, she wants to be an artist!  Busy life, that one will have!  My oldest gives me different answers depending on her mood that day.  But the most common answer I get from her is, “I want to be whatever YOU are”.  That answer used to make me cringe every time I heard it.  I also responded with, “you don’t want to be what I am baby.  You deserve better!”.

Until recently, I didn’t realize how extremely powerful my response to her was!  Essentially, what I was telling my daughter was, I am not worthy to be better than I am so please do not look up to me.  In a nutshell, yeah… that’s what that meant.  I’ve heard so many women say this to their kids… so many men… heck my mom said it to me!  It seemed like the “normal” response.  But what in the world do I think I’m doing!?!?  I am their MOTHER!  It is my job to set the example and BE the example!

Now that I’m a different person than I used to be, cause I “drank the Koo-laid”, I am really calculating my thoughts and responses in pretty much every aspect of my world and this has to be one of the big ones that I know I need to fix!  Mothers always want happy, fulfilling lives for their children because we love them, right?  So let’s define happiness… is it a job? Is it a house? Is it money?  No!  Happiness is a mind-set!  It’s an emotion that only you control!  It’s not tangible! So by us, as mothers, giving such a dark response to such a powerful statement from a child, how is that teaching them how to be happy?!?!

It starts with us.  We need to change our mindsets, chase our dreams, don’t give up, smile through it!  Be the example for your kids!  I guarantee, if you don’t allow your child to look up to you for guidance for their futures, they will look up to someone else and that is very likely to not be their best decision!

So next time your baby or babies tells you they want to be like you, or they want to do what you do, try not to cringe… try not to put yourself down in such a way that it’s apparent to your child that you don’t think you are good enough to be anyone’s role model!  Children are much more receptive than you think!  Especially girls, you know we overthink EVERYTHING!

Let’s be the change in ourselves so that we welcome and aspire for our children to follow in our footsteps!  Teach them to find their happy by finding and owning your own!

Bye for now,

RR

Money Hungry Women!

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What is the FREAKING DEAL with MONEY HUNGRY women?  You know the type…women that are SO IN LOVE with the RICH guys but NO IDENTITY FOR THEMSELVES!  I am not trying to throw anyone under the bus.  One thing you will learn, in my blog, is that I really try to not name names.  But for real….

I do not understand how an individual could define themselves while chasing wealthy men.  NEWSFLASH…the tables have turned!!!! 60% of ALL college graduates are WOMEN!  There are more and more WOMEN SUCCESSFUL enterpreneurs in this world every. single. day!

Guess what!? It does NOT take money to MAKE money!  DO YOU ladies!  I know I’m capitalizing a lot but damn.  Just…..damn.  I do not understand.  Please help me understand!

It’s 2015!  Guess what! We’ve been able to VOTE for 96 years!  That means our opinion freaking MATTERS!  Stop trying to take the easy way out!  You’ll end up in a loveless, dead-end relationship with a dude that is cheating on you with the NEXT freaking gold digger!  Don’t, for a SECOND, THINK…that how YOU TWO started out, isn’t how he will start out with the NEXT gold digger!

Offended by the term?  OWN IT!  It’s part of your story!  But please…PLEASE…don’t let it be the end of your story!  Maybe YOU could help the next aspiring gold digger find HERSELF!

Ask yourself!  Do you 2 possess the same core values?  Do you 2 possess the desire to take your lives to the next level?  If he wants to go on to retire in Florida while YOU want to go on to own and operate a successful GYM……PPPPREETTYYY sure it’s not gonna work out!

Everything happens for a reason.  Your relationship isn’t useless….you have learned lessons…but come on….get real…what is your net worth without him??? NET worth…

Did I spark a nerve?  Are you upset?  If you are offended…PROBABLY means I’m talking to you!

I love you darlings…but YOU BE YOU!  You can be successful and HAPPY by being YOU!  Not by being his arm candy!  Not by being HIS version of you…but by being you!

Get out while the going is hot!  DO SOMETHING FOR YOURSELF AND WITH YOURSELF!  TODAY!

Bye for now,

RR

The FATHERS of my CHILDREN

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So I understand that most of America’s population has more than one child.  They also have children that are “half sisters” and “half brothers”.  That’s the best way I could explain that at this point in time.  More less because I really don’t want to use a derogatory term.  Don’t be offended. Please.  I have 2 children.  My children have different fathers.  For so long, I didn’t advertise that.  But I’m not ashamed.  Not even a little bit.  I have 2 amazing men helping me raise my amazing daughters and I am BLESSED! God knows it takes a village!

My first marriage was short.  But it was beautiful.  I learned so much.  What to do…what NOT to do…obviously…! I struggle not to use the term, “I was young”…but I WAS young! And so was he! We didn’t know what we wanted…not REALLY! I made a LOT of mistakes in my first marriage.  Many I am not proud of.  But ALL I learned from! (yeah…the devil sent one of his spawns who I indulged.  the worst mistake in my life was the mistake of cheating). He and I were high school sweethearts.  My mom didn’t like him at first.  Which, at 15, sparked my interest even more.  But he truly was a good guy…who grew into an amazing man.  But he was not THE man for me.  Even with my biggest mistake ever, I now know there is a reason for everything.  It took me a LOOOOONG time to forgive myself for what I did to him.  Even as recently as 8 months ago, I apologized to him.  Nonetheless, it wasn’t the perfect match.  He and I both moved on to marry THE perfect people for us!

I’m getting off topic…Here’s what I need to say.  If you and your child’s father are both “fairly” mature individuals, then YOU BOTH need to make your relationship healthy for the sake of your child!!!!!!!!  NO ONE benefits from moms and dads that cannot get along.  Whether you talk bad about each other in front of the child OR you merely THINK negatively about the other AROUND the child, it’s harmful.

I wouldn’t say that my relationship with my daughter’s father is PERFECT, but we do a pretty good job of keeping focus on what is most important.  He and I could talk on the phone for HOURS about life.  Whether past, present future…we can hold a GOOD conversation.  Everyone is finding themselves more and more each day…why NOT explore that WITH your child’s father so that you can be on the same page WITH your child!

Let me be clear that it needs to be APPROPRIATE!  I cannot think of a time when my forever husband ever felt threatened by a conversation I had with my ex.  I will say, at the beginning, my forever husband wasn’t super comfortable going with me to holiday events at his step-daughter’s family’s house…how COULD he be?  It was fresh!  My forever husband has never been divorced.  He’s only heard what society had to tell him!  It sparked some rather uncomfortable holiday arguments.  But now…4 years in…he is totally on board.  He understands how beneficial it is for his step-daughter that her ENTIRE family loves and cares for each other!  HALLELUJAH praise the LORD!  It took time.  It will ALWAYS take time.  But PLEASE.  Take the time to invest in what is most important.  The children!

Disclaimer-I am not oblivious to the fact that this is not necessarily possible for every situation.  My best friend is in a situation in which this is NOT at THIS time possible.  Please don’t feel as if I think that.  However, if at all possible, put forth the effort and focus on the end result!  Take it from a woman that came from a broken, non-repairable home.

Bye for now,

RR

Stupid stuff on Social Media

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Surely…to God….I am going to get published in some way, shape, or form.  There is NO way that I’m not being that all of the STUPID stuff on facebook gets nationally circulated!  Serioulsy!  What about those photos that say share if you love God, ignore if you love the devil…..seriously?……What’s the deal!?

Brings me to my point….stupid stuff of social media.  It wasn’t until very recently that I started exploring social media outside of the same old Facebook.  I don’t know how to use Twitter but I started tweeting!  Instagram pisses me off because people choose to use it as Facebook and flood my feed with a crap ton of pictures individually posted…Periscope….NO CLUE HOW TO USE IT but it’s on my phone! Yay!  I’m hip!  I’m on fleek!? :/  I use LinkedIn…kind of….I know how to use it more than the others and I love the idea of professional networking.  I think I have actually “met” maybe 5 of my LinkedIn friends…the other 9,478 are just random people who added me!

People select a mood and then post…..don’t even type words….just “hey someone ask me why I just emoticated that I am depressed….yeah….I just made up a word…emoticated!  So what?!?

Maybe I get on folks nerves with my newfound positive outlook but folks are really getting on my nerves with the vastly spread negativity!  I post something positive and friends COMMENT negative….keep that crap on your own page YO!  I just want everyone to smile more!  Seriously…if you start out the morning by singing your favorite tune and smiling a REAL smile, your entire day will be better than it would have been otherwise!  Don’t, instead, go to FB and try to sour everyone else’s day!

Bye for now,

RR

How much butt kissing is too much kissing butt?

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This will be short and a little “rant-ish” if you will….

How much butt kissing is really too much kissing butt?  Where do you draw the line between a little white lie and a flat out lie when it comes to pleasing clients and other people?  Steve Harvey said his dad taught him to never get into the butt kissing business.  Because not everyone is going to like how you do it!  I agree!  However, sometimes, you have to KINDA kiss butt!  I have some that love it and I have some that get offended and want me to be “real” with them.  I wish everyone wanted reality!  It would be so much easier!  I will do my due diligence in aiding my clients in the quickest, most effective way to increase their profit AS ALONG AS it doesn’t effect MY profit or MY integrity.  I struggle with THAT point.  When I’m at THAT point, I get quiet.  It’s apparent that I’ve said all that I’m going to say but it isn’t specific to what my thoughts are in that moment!  Part of that reason is I don’t want to lose my job!  The other part is, I’m not comfortable with confrontation.  As part of my reinvention process, I want to get better about that.  I don’t wanna go around arguing with everyone…but I would like to proudly be honest and up front more often!

I seem to have ZERO problem being bluntly honest about my immediate thoughts with my HUSBAND!  He’s probably the only one I should really take stock in thinking about what I say to!  Why is that?  Why is it that the one you love the most is the one you are hardest on?  I need to be kissing HIS butt sometimes!  I bet he’d like that!

Bye for now,

RR

SPECIFICS-The key to meeting your goals

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How often do you set goals for yourself? For your family?  For the future?  Probably a lot.  At least most of us.  Are you wise with your words?  Do you show power in what you say?  Here’s just a short list of the top 5 affirmations that are self-proclaimed…

  1. From now on, I’m going to be happy!
  2. I’m going to respect my husband more from this day forward!
  3. I’m going to save more money!
  4. I’m going to think more positively.
  5. I’m going to work harder.

You’re probably thinking…”that’s a pretty good list there Rachael.  What’s your point?”

Ask yourself these questions….and really think about your answers and what your answers mean compared to the affirmation…

  1. From now on, I’m going to be happy!-What does it mean for YOU to be happy?  What steps will you be taking to get there?
  2. I’m going to respect my husband more from this day forward!-What does your husband define as respect?  How do you define respect? What have you done in the past that was disrespectful and what steps will you be taking to avoid those acts in the future?
  3. I’m going to save more money!-How much money do you have right now?  How much money do you gross?  What bills do you have?  How much do you want to save?  What will you be doing differently to ensure that the money is staying put?
  4. I’m going to think more positively.-What is happening in your life that’s causing you to think negatively to begin with?  Can you start by changing that?  Which parts of your life cause negative thoughts to come to mind?  How can you improve those areas?
  5. I’m going to work harder.-What are you working on that you don’t feel like you are doing your best at?  What are you passionate about?  What is at the end of that investment?  

It will blow your mind when you really dig deep and challenge yourself to be specific in your goals.  Here’s an excercise:

Write down your top 3 long term goals, with plenty of space in between them.

Now…write down 3 short term goals in between each long term goal.

You, my friend, now have a tangible checklist!  Keep it on your person at all times and start working on crossing each item off!  One of the biggest things that holds us “average Americans” back, is that nagging thought that our past happened.  It keeps us from moving forward in success.  You can’t do anything to un-do your past.  It’s yours.  But you can testify what you’ve learned by embracing your imperfections!

It’s a new me…in my old world…

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I am a changed woman!  I feel it in every bone in my body and it’s so exciting! I feel like a baby deer learning to walk! EVERYTHING I say or do is coming from a different perspective than before.  From what I watch, what I read, to what I eat, what I say….even what I listen to on the radio…

I’m so eager to find like-minded people and go into deep, meaningful, POSITIVE, powerful conversations with them!  I find myself scowering my friends list to see if anyone JUMPS out at me as possibly being of like mind.  Not in a snobby way, but in a real way.

This is all great and I don’t plan to change this…However, I am struggling because I’m pretty much the only one in my circle who has had this radical mindset shift.  Therefore, I’m hearing the same old stuff coming from the same negative places and I don’t know what to do about it.

I’ve chosen not to invest a lot of time and confidence in some people because I’ve learned, recently, that if you want to shoot down your big dreams, tell them to a small minded person.  That has resignated with me very deeply so I’m being very choosy with whom I share what.  This sounds cocky and rude but I don’t mean it to.  I haven’t stopped loving or caring for anyone in my life.  However, I believe I can go to the next level and I believe that I have to let go of some to get there.

I pray that I can keep this new me.  I believe that I can.  I will!

OAN, I talked to my mom last night.  This is nothing new.  We are super close.  She’s my best friend in the entire world.  I was nervous to tell her a lot of what I have learned.  I am being very careful about what I share and when so as not to overwhelm people or even myself.  She, of course, wanted to hear all about my ah-ha moments!  We had such a good talk.  I fearfully shared with her what I’ve only shared with 2 other humans (my kids!).  I want to write a book.  Maybe several.  I used to love to write and it’s always been relatively easy for me.  My biggest hiccup is my randomness (as you can tell).  Also I’ve always talked myself out of it because I don’t have a degree, I didn’t take a course, I don’t know big words, etc.  I won’t let that hold me back anymore!

I’m working on a plan!  Self publication!  Save money while I write, self-publish, and see what happens!  I’m not looking to get rich.  I’m just looking to be happy and maybe help people!

My topic is raising parents-from the eyes of a teenager.  A book for teens that would help them to “raise” their parents in a way that would improve their relationship and communication!  I feel like parents and teens both would buy this book.  It’ll take a lot of research and a lot of scenario’s but I’m very excited about it!  Mom said she would have LOVED something that like to have existed when I was a teenage nightmare!  That’s another blog post!

Bye for now,

RR

Changing my Mindset

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With this being my first blog on this site, I’d like to start with a preface that I have recently had a change of mindset.  I attended a retreat this past weekend that really opened my eyes to what I have been so naive about for the past 29 years, 26 weeks, and 6 days.  <Do the math if you wish to get me a birthday present on my 30th! :)> I won’t get into ALL that I have learned over the past few days but I do want you to know that most of my blogs will be stories of Rachael Richmond PRE BLOWING OF MIND!  Don’t judge me.  Or do. Whatever you wish!

Oh and also…random…I get that my punctuation and grammar isn’t stellar…it’s noted.

It’s insane to me that I literally have gone through my entire life with NO goals.  NONE.  Not for myself anyway….  I am a mom…I have goals for my children.  But what about me?

Someone asked me at the retreat a few days ago, what I did for a living.  I said, you know…I’m in corporate america…but this isn’t what I WANT to do…I explained that I’m a wife and a mom and have had to make money….She said, “well…what do you like to do for YOU?”  ~~~~~~~CRICKETS~~~~~~~~  HOW EMBARRASSING! I kid you not….after a good 10 long silent seconds, I said, “I don’t know….” In this moment, I wanted to crawl under the table.  But the more I thought about it, the more I thought…how EXCITING!  I can be anyone, do anything I want!  It’s like starting from scratch as a child in an imagination fueled world!  So what DO I like to do?  I like to paint…but I SUCK at it….I like to play softball…but I am not good at it…  What do I like to do that I could be good at and maybe, God willing, I could make money at?  That’s the dream.  I’m hoping that by exploring myself throughout the life of this blog, I can answer that question for myself.  I’m bouncing around a few ideas already!

Until then….I want to share!  I feel like I have a lot to say and I am excited for the platform to say it on!  Whether NO ONE reads this or EVERYONE reads this…I still feel better! 🙂

I am confident that, if you don’t already think so, you will soon have a very accurate assumption that I am a random person!  My mind goes to left field now and then but I’ll do my best to reel myself back in when I go too far off topic.

Bye for now.

RR